Thinking about having an abortion?

Beyond the legality of abortion. beyond the debates, the accusations, the foul language on both sides of the argument...thousands of women contemplate abortion every day and over 4,000 women choose it.

Women do regret abortion. Silentnomore.com and afterabortion.com show innumerable accounts from women that regret their abortions. Many had no idea what abortion really meant. No one was there to say, "Here let me show you the ultrasound of your baby with a heart beat and fingers and toes. Let me help you."

I run a crisis pregnancy website: myspace.com/starlitshores

Here are just a couple of notes I have received from girls and women who have made the painful choice of abortion (these stories are used with permission. The names have been changed to protect privacy):

Yesterday I recieved this message from a beautiful girl. Many blessings to her for sharing her story and allowing me to post it so that it may inspire many to rethink abortion. May her baby Joshua rest in the palm of God's hand and may she find hope, love, and forgiveness.



I had an abortion yesterday...

I asked to see the ultrasound before it happened,
because I have no health insurance,
so I hadn't been to a doctor,
and hadn't had an ultrasound before.

I dont think I will ever get over this.
I have been pro-life for as long as I can remember,
but I thought it would be easier to send my baby's soul back to God to wait until I could afford to support them.

I feel so alone,
and after seeing the baby, MY baby, on the screen,
and then feeling him be sucked from my body,
all I could do was cry "NO, NO, NO........" over and over again while it happened...

It's been about twelve hours...
and I cant stop crying.

I want my baby back, I want MYYY BABY back...........

and because I couldn't ever face placing my newborn child into someone else's arms...
I'll never get to hold my baby,
or see my baby grow...

I've been playing "Run" by Snow Patrol all day...

It was the biggest mistake I've ever made...
I cant go back...

Abortion is wrong...

I saw my little baby move it's little head, and arm,
I will never ever ever forget that image...

I'm so scared...
I want to die,
My baby is gone...........
~Christina


i had an abortion...

i was 110% sure i was gonna have the baby and then realized i was too young nd the dad didnt want it and cut out of my life nd i didnt want to live from pay check to pay check nd raise my child nd have to hear wheres my daddy nd have to say he didnt want you...i know what thats like...

but i did it for my baby nd not me thats what i was thinking then nd realized that thats wrong you dont kill someone for their own good...i regret it nd miss my child everyday...nd i thought i was being a good mother for doin what i was doin because i didnt want my child to grow up how i did but now i know i shouldnt have done it but its already to late...

i remember in the 9th grade we we're told to write a paper nd a speech nd my topic was AGAINST ABORTIONS... i will never forget what i did february 2nd 2005...i made a life out of what i thought was love nd i killed it when all along it was my son nd i loved him...

late at night i look down nd touch my stomach nd wishes he was there nd ache because i know what i have done nd i know that i can never make it right...

i hope nd pray i am forgiven for what i have done nd pray that when its the right time GOD will send me my child...if you have read all of this i would like to thank you for your time...nd i hope you understand why i was so upset...if you need to you can tell my story to help someone maybe a girl like myself.
~Shannon

The abortion took place on May 31, 2002...the worst day of my life...I want others to hear my story because I am soooo sick of people saying that women are not hurt by abortion...

To answer the question: How has abortion affected you?


To many people, this question would be simple to answer. For me, it is complex and hard, not just for the fact that it brings up so many emotions, but because abortion caused a tidal wave of events in my life. Instead of listing off the ways that it has affected me, I find this as an opportunity to share my story, which I think has more depth than a list.

After leaving my parent's house at 17 because I didn't want to follow their rules, I found out that I was pregnant. My boyfriend had taken me to Planned Parenthood because he happened to notice that I hadn't had my period in a couple of months. I had never been so scared when the nurse came in and told me that I was pregnant. I went and got my boyfriend, Kile, from the waiting room and brought him in. As soon as I sat on his lap and started crying, he knew. I struggled with the words, but finally got them out, "I'm pregnant." The very first thing that came out of Kile's mouth was that I was having an abortion. I was in shock and so when the nurse explained the process of a judicial bypass and the different abortion clinics, I just nodded. I pretended for a couple of days that none of it was true but was brought back to reality when Kile handed me the phone and said that 'they' needed to talk to me. 'They' ended up being an attorney's office that Planned Parenthood had given us the number to, and who would help with the Judicial bypass, which was going to be needed because I was underage and I never thought that I would be able to tell my parents about my pregnancy, let alone ask their permission for an abortion.

After 4 days of thinking about being pregnant, I decided that I wanted to keep my baby…but Kile had different plans for me. He grabbed me by the shoulders and yelled: "You're having an abortion, Kristen!!! I refuse to help you out in any way and you won't have anywhere to go because you're not living with me! I do not want a kid!!" The next day, he took me to see the attorney, and not even a week later I was in front of the judge. He granted me the judicial bypass and Kile made the appointment for the abortion that coming Saturday in Saginaw.

May 31st was a rainy, overcast, chilly day. To this day I remember what I was wearing, what the building looked like inside and out, and even how the chairs were set up in the waiting area. After I signed in, I sat in the chair staring at the wall, holding my belly, trying to talk myself into running out of the building…but that thought was interrupted by the nurse saying she was ready for me. They did blood work, then an ultrasound (which they wouldn't let me see), gave me a valium, and had me and another older woman go into a room where the "counseling" took place. WHAT A JOKE!!! The counseling was just prepping us for how the procedure was and how to take care of ourselves for the few days after. They put all the women in a room and one by one called us out to have the procedure done, and as I waited, I listened to the other women talk…it was one ladies 7th abortion…another's 3rd. It surprised me how nonchalantly they talked about such a huge thing. I heard screaming, then silence, and then my name…it was my turn…The nurse had me take my pants and underwear off and my feet in the stirrups. She told me to look straight up at the ceiling and not to the right. The Dr. came in, spread my legs, and started. I screamed and kept trying to put my legs together, but he said that if I didn't stop, he wasn't going to be able to finish it. I reached out for the nurses hand, but she wouldn't hold it. I have never felt so much pain in my life and thought that the noise was almost unbearable. When he was done, I looked over…there it was…a jar with my baby in it, and that's when it hit me…that's my baby in that jar and they're just going to throw it away like it's garbage??!!!

I went to the recovery room and watched as a couple of the girls were crying. I told myself to keep my composure. The minute that I walked out of the clinic and into Kile's car, I fell apart. How could I have just done that!!???? The only support that Kile gave me was some vicodin and then told me to sleep. The next couple of years were filled with self hate…self mutilation, drinking, drugs and one suicide attempt…anything to get my mind off of the abortion.

I know that I will never be the same, but by the grace of God, I found healing. Rachel's Vineyard changed my life! I still do think that a part of me died that day, but another part of me was born at Rachel's Vineyard. I know that my son, Kristopher Daniel, is in Christ's arms, waiting to meet me. I have learned how to use this for the good, but still want people to know that abortion doesn't turn back time…it stops it…it doesn't end your problem…it starts it…and it is never for the better, but only for the worse. So from now on, I will be SILENT NO MORE
~Krysten

Here is another emotional testimony I have received from a woman who has been scarred by abortion. If you are considering an abortion or know someone who is consider this story before you make that fateful choice.

I was 16 when I had my first child. My son was born at 24 weeks. He is 10 now. It was very traumatic at the time but he was a miracle. Afterwards, I wanted to get my tubes tied but no-one would do it for me. When I was 24 I got pregnant while I was on birth control and didn't know I was pregnant. I kept taking it until about two months later when I got sick and had a test done.

When I found out I was devastated. I was told that the birth control I was taking could have caused allot of damage. I was stupid, I chose abortion. I told the father and he wasn't happy, but he supported my decision. I don't know how I went through with it. I did it with support. Afterwards I was traumatized.

All I could think about was: what if I had chose life? I didn't even look at the ultrasound! I hate myself. So...all I can think about is how my life would have been with the child. What it would have looked like. It's too hard to talk about.
So, I chose to give my life to God. I didn't have sex for a year. Then I met my husband Justin. We were married and soon after I was pregnant again. I was still afraid, but I chose life, of course. It was a normal pregnancy. I'd never known how that felt. After having Kaleb, my second son, I had more regret than ever about the abortion.

I still struggle to sleep at night. I still wonder. More than anything, I wish I had known you, my baby. I had no idea, I didn't do any research. Now all I want is to try to stop anyone else from doing it. I am mentally traumatized, and emotionally scarred forever. I realize now that I made the greatest mistake anyone could ever make. I'm glad I have my husband and my son, but I'll never know what could have been.

Sometimes I think I'm no better than a monster, but I love children, my children, and all children. I would never hurt them and I wish I could go back in time. Though I know I'm a good person, what I did haunts me every day and night. To hear someone like you say that God still loves me, and that my child is with Him really touches me. I know I need to move on and heal, I just don't know how. I wonder if I'll still be crying 40 years from now...that ache that won't go away.
~Julia

Please, if you have been through an abortion, visit the websites I mentioned above. They may be able to help with the healing process. Peace and love always.

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